Self-sufficiency is an oxymoron.

(Disclaimer: This post is a little more confrontational than my others. I do not meant to put anyone down or suggest my way is the best way—far from it! Don’t follow me; I will let you down. I do, however, want to share what has worked for me and many people I know while also addressing the way Christ-followers often are perceived. We need one another, and we need to show love to each other, too. John 14:6)

Hey, we all would like to think, “I got this!” It’s a good, well-intended thought meant to be motivational. I say it sometimes. I mean it, too.

But, is it true? Is all we need in the world just ourselves? Let’s look at the concept of self-sufficiency further.

Self-sufficiency starts out with “self.” That implies we only need me, myself, and I. I have to tell you: If I only had me, what a poor existence that would be. I’m not a fan of photographs of myself, selfies, or even the mirror for that matter. Some days, I frankly don’t like me very much. Besides, I would be without my wife and kids. I would be without friends. I would be without Jesus.

It is interesting to watch people who do not have a relationship with Jesus badmouth religion. You may not know this, but I’m not a huge fan of religion itself. We get in the way of all the ways that God is good. I’m a huge advocate for Jesus Christ and having a relationship with Him. As our pastor preached a few weeks ago, all religions are about do. That is, religions have a series of things a person does or does not do. It’s about rules and things a person does to get closer to whichever god they serve. Jesus Christ paid it all; He did what needed to be done to save us—ALL of us.

Jesus is about relationship, not religion. I wish I could convey this in words that reached everyone. The Great Commandment is to love God. After that, we are to love others. That’s it. I think some people who don’t follow or know Jesus may very well look at religion as a set of a rules. They perhaps may see it as a bunch of people who are judgmental, who think they’re better than others. They may see Jesus as a kind man who did some good deeds. They may believe He died on a cross.

What I can’t explain well is how Jesus has changed me to be better. I can’t explain all the good things that have happened to my family and me as a result of following Jesus. As a young man, I certainly didn’t follow Christ look I should have. I believed in the power of coincidence. I thought things were more chance encounters than divine. I treated God often as a genie. I prayed for things I wanted when I wanted. I cried out to God about perceived injustices. I had it wrong. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted.

The problem with leaning on God for things I wanted goes back to the original position: Self-sufficiency is an oxymoron. That puts God on my level. He serves me. He, the God of the universe, serves me? That’s a bad perspective—a bad take. That would rank God up there with a pick-a-size paper towel, there to clean up my messes. That would put Him on the level of a buffet, there to fill me up when I’m hungry. Or, that would put Him on the level of a paid subscription service, there for my entertainment and bidding to consume at will. These things mean I am in control. I’m in charge of how much I consume God, and that’s scary.

Where does loving God and loving others fit into that? I have witnessed people trying to convince others following Jesus is a pointless. If a person doesn’t know Jesus, then how would that person know it’s pointless? That kind of thinking doesn’t make sense to me. I’d be curious how many of these folks have tried it. I mean, it is pretty easy to disengage from things in which we lack a personal connection, right? It’s pretty easy to find fuel for whatever fires there are currently out there. Just check social media. It is easy not to care or make jokes. It is easy to point fingers. It is easy to dehumanize humanity. It is easy to put our faith into anything else, and truthfully, we all do it sometimes. All of us. We can believe in the possibilities of almost anything. For some of us, it’s almost like the old Meatloaf song, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” Christ-followers often are labeled lots of things from judgmental to dumb to critical to “perfect” to other things I won’t mention here. The amount of hate and intolerance directed at Christians as a whole is interesting and sad to me. We aren’t perfect people. Any of us. Yet, some of the same things we Christians may be accused of being, some of you are being that very way, too. Yet, often Christians are labeled as the intolerant ones. You may not know this, but I have lived my life your way. While I’ve always believed in God since a small child (were there ever times in which you believed in God or the possibility of God?), I have not always followed Jesus as I need to do so. I’ve tried it your way and failed miserably. It was dark and hopeless for me. I was miserable.

I think that it all goes back to relationship. I had to realize my relationship with Jesus was more than bending the world to fit my wants and needs. I was the one who needed to bend. My relationship with Jesus changed my life from attitude to fulfillment. I have faith in Someone far greater, Who stands for far more, and Who is all about love. There is hope. There is light. Faith in Jesus has changed our entire family’s lives. It has changed many people’s lives whom I know.

Relationships are hard. Are your current relationships easy? Are you working relationships always easy; are you friendships always easy; are you family relationships always easy? Man, I wish mine were easy. I bet my wife wishes hers were easy, too! I wish there were checkboxes of tasks that I could check when completed. I wish there were a series of things to do to move on to the next level of life. Jesus doesn’t work that way, and relationships do not work that way, either. When we love others, we put ourselves out there—good, bad, and ugly. We hope we aren’t rejected. We hope to receive some love. That’s not easy, is it? I know I’m not the most lovable person in the world all the time.

Although it is not your business what happens in my bedroom, it is not my business what happens in yours, either! Some of us need boundaries. Let private things be private things. I’m not just talking romantic relationships, though; I’m talking all relationships. They’re hard. We aren’t meant to be solo, drifting through the world, feeling like we’re in control. We were created for connection. Connections are challenging, but they are worth it. Even in tough times, working through something is incredibly rewarding. I’ve had bad things happen in lots of relationships, and I believe it is the grace of God and answered prayers that helped them. I don’t want to go through the world dependent on me alone. (In case you don’t know me, I’m basically Clark Griswold and Tim “The Toolman” Taylor rolled into one person.) My introverted self with poor mechanical skills needs others! And so do you.

I don’t want to put my faith in myself. I don’t want you to put your faith in me. As cold as this may sound, I don’t want to put my faith in you. Let’s not put our faith in other people. When we do these things, we are going to let down and be let down—pure and simple. Put your faith in Jesus. Do your best to live the way He did. I believe it will change your life just like it changed mine.

#self #oxymoron #Jesus #faith #love #labels #neighbors #goodneighbors