El Dorado

A long time ago, we discovered music by magazines. I know. This literally will make zero sense to young people of today. In any event, I read about this band called The Buck Pets and liked the description. I took a chance and bought their cassette (don’t judge me). I ended up really enjoying their work. (On a side note, I believe their music was among the many stolen when someone bricked my car window. Soon after, I tried to find my stolen cassettes in pawn shops. I grieved that lost music (see my other posts on grief/loss). Music meant that much to me. Truthfully, I did not do anything wrong other than park at the wrong place at the wrong time. In fact, it was because I parked my car publicly while I rode to a concert with friends. On yet another side note, that bricked window started a compulsion of lock checking that I brought with me into my marriage.)

The Buck Pets had many cool songs with striking lyrics such as “Inamorata” and others, too, including a song called, “Pearls.” The first lines of both the songs were just killer lyrics in my opinion. So, how does El Dorado and The Buck Pets connect to this piece?

“I’m not looking for an El Dorado. I just want this redhead girl.”

The Buck Pets

Thankfully, I married that redhead (now pink, which works really well, by the way). While I no longer drive her nuts with the lock checking (much), I did find other ways. My Enneagram 1, Improver (which I prefer over the other titles), for instance, is a good place to start. Usually, my “improver” comes out when I notice things that need attention. Yeah, it can be rough—and expensive—sometimes for all of us!

I digress. So, a 16th century legend (you can read this if you’re a Disney + subscriber) has it somewhere in South America. There’s a lost place of gold and riches called El Dorado. While Lake Guatavita had hundreds of coins discovered on its banks, El Dorado itself was never found.

Recently, I got to thinking about El Dorado. Now, a place of immense riches would be a blessing for many of us, I think. I don’t think we would argue that fact if any of us found it. It certainly would be a blessing for me (student loans, anyone). How else could El Dorado look?

Honestly, I think it could look a lot like perfection. I think it could look like constantly chasing for better, for more. You can probably understand the Enneagram 1 tie-in a little better. Think about it, though. Look around at society. Look at your own behavior. (I’m talking to me, too, for the record.) Americans have so much whereas many parts of the world do not. Yet, there always appears to be a quest for more. There are even studies looking at lottery winners and happiness. Money gained is not typically indicative of increased happiness. I’d still like to find out for myself, but . . .

If you’ve followed along recently, you know I’ve been researching motorcycles for quite a while. Granted, I don’t just research motorcycles. I research practically anything I’m considering. As I looked and compared different motorcycles from different genres and manufacturers, it hit me. All bikes fall short. There’s something Biblical there.

In other words, we were looking for an El Dorado bike—the perfect bike. For a while, I was interested in adventure motorcycles. Sometimes, when I research things, I go overboard. While this time is no exception, it occurred to me that there was no perfect bike that had all the things I desired, that literally checked every box, and had every accessory straight out of the gate that I wanted. Now, when I think about it, what it really comes down to for me anyway is being able to get a good, reliable bike and add a few mods for the budget I have. A good friend simply (and dare I say perfectly) stated it this way: “Make it your own!”

One could interpret that another way: Make the best of it.

Perfection existed once in the form of Jesus. In all other ways, perfection doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion. Whatever El Dorado you find yourself chasing, I’d encourage you to see if there’s a way you can do whatever it is you want to do and do it right away. I pray. So if you pray, definitely pray. I know prayer certainly helps me be grounded and gives me fresh perspective. It helps me with priorities. It helps me escape the trap of negative thought loops that roll around inside my brain, like annoying marbles, clanging from one side to the next. Talk with trusted people in your life. Let them help you see things differently. Step away from your El Dorado for a little while. Sometimes, just taking a break will help you gain new perspective.

In all other ways, perfection doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion.

Dr. Jason Newcomb

One thing I believe we all can agree on is that chasing perfection is exhausting. Once you finally arrive there, things shift, and you have to start all over again. It’s like the waypoints on the map move or our GPS is always stuck trying to reconnect. There are moments called peak or flow experiences in which I do think we experience near perfection. Sometimes, it is easier to see in athletic performances. They are fleeting, passing moment. Pay particular attention to that word. Unfortunately, El Dorado experiences aren’t like achieved levels on video games in which progress is saved, and you move on to the next one.

Wait, are you saying that I should settle for what I want? Come on, is that really what you got out of that? No. What I’m suggesting is relax your expectations a bit. Find ways to shift your perspective. Reexamine what you do have.

That is, if it’s an adventure you seek on a motorcycle, take the bike you have and go have one. If it’s a job, either take what you have and find ways to make it better, or look for something else that fits your ideals more closely. The perfect anything doesn’t exist. This version of El Dorado will stay lost. Take what you do have and make it great. El Dorado can simply be a state of mind. Get out of your own way and allow yourself to go there.

This version of El Dorado will stay lost. Take what you have and make it great. El Dorado can simply be a state of mind. Get out of your own way and allow yourself to go there.

Dr. Jason Newcomb

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