Hope

A part of my career allows me opportunities to engage all kinds of continuing education opportunities. Recently, I sat through some stuff that got me thinking about the importance of hope. Or, maybe I should rephrase that: the importance of the absence of hope.

Apart from those “perfect” social media posts (please read all the sarcasm into that you wish), we all are going through stuff. We all have been going through stuff. (In fact, I honestly refer to things as “before COVID” and “post COVID” because of my declining time-estimation skills.) In today’s world, perfection doesn’t exist. I don’t care how much Botox (I’m looking at you, Tom Cruise) or much editing in app a person does. Things aren’t and will not be perfect. Admittedly, I cringe a bit when I use the word. I think it is a good thing to strive to do as well as humanly possible, to minimize mistakes. I’m also a believer in how social media enables us to compare ourselves to others by looking into their “perfect” shot. Now, I do believe in Csikszmentmihalyi’s flow (all these years, and I still butcher his name), those mini-glimpses into perfect moments. It’s a state. It’s temporary. Athletes may refer to it as being “in the zone.”

The problem with comparison (and I do bash on social media a fair amount because it lends itself to this so easily, intentionally?) is it opens the thinking of not being content with what we have by looking at the perception of what others do seem to have. Did you catch that? We perceive someone else has it better than we do. It’s a thought.

But, thoughts, like seeds, grow when cultivated properly. We humans tend to be negatively skewed; negativity resonates often more easily within ourselves than positivity. So, a negative thought based on a (mis) perception can lead to dark places. And those dark places can make it seem like hope is lost. Folks, this is so important. If you, or someone you know, appears hopeless, it’s time to get help. Ask hard questions. Take a course.

If you find your hope tank is nearing empty, try a few of these things that I’ve found helpful. If these don’t work, use your own. (As a reminder, this site is not a substitute for mental health help. Please see a professional.)

Pray. This helps me ground myself in my faith. This helps me remember something bigger and better is out there. I have Bible verses in mind that cover a range of issues. These comfort me. As part of this, seek prayer. Ask other people to pray for you. This is a humbling process. Give these things a try if faith is important to you.

Talk with a loved one. This often helps shift my perspective. Remember that we tend to skew negatively. Despite what I do for a living, I’m not different. Talking with a friend, loved one, my children, or my spouse helps me see a different perspective. It often is easy for me to go full-on doom/gloom when something doesn’t go as expected. So, if your expectations aren’t met, beware. This could be an opening for that negative thought to take root and grow. Talk it over with someone.

Stick to your routine. I personally like routines. If you have plans, great. If you have backup to your backups, okay. I do have to caution you with this one. Be careful with those routines that become rigid, inflexible. For example, I track several things in my bullet journal that I want to be habits that I do daily. I do not need to stress if I miss one. Instead, I need to get back on track as soon as I’m capable/able. Routines are things you look forward to engaging. It’s built-in habits. It’s something that keeps our minds focused just ever so forward.

If the hope tank of you or someone you love is running on empty, please have a conversation. Get professional help if necessary. Watch yourself; pay attention to your thoughts. If they skew negative, be proactive and do something. Don’t drown in worldly matters, but renew your mind. Find those little things you look forward to doing and do them. If news or social media are creating problems, guess what? They’re not that important. If you need a break, take one. I promise all the drama and comparison and negative news will be there. In fact, there will be new stuff. If it’s really big, you’ll find out anyway. Ignoring hope, however, needs to stop. Do what you can do to refill your hope tank. Hope is that important.

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