Avatar 2—Our Return to Pandora

Well, we are all thankfully recovering from our first bout of Covid-19. I may have had a false hope in thinking after three years without, we might be good, right. Nah! I don’t really post movie reviews or anything like that here, but post-Covid, this is what you’re getting. It’s still on my mind, so here we go.

Prior to this experience, we went to a see a “real Hollywood blockbuster,” Avatar 2, in IMAX. I will not post spoilers, so you’re safe. This is more about our experience at this particular movie. I guess this was the first movie we went to since The Batman and our first big Hollywood, non-documentary IMAX movie.

Now, the IMAX experience was pretty incredible in my opinion. If you’re willing to pay 100 bucks for your family of four to view a movie in IMAX, go for it. (We were fortunate to have received two passes through one of our work’s Christmas parties. I still can’t get over the “sticker shock,” though!) IMAX sound was full; the screen, large; the hour’s worth of trailers, long. The IMAX part of the experience was pretty cool in all honesty although one of ours stated it was “too loud.”

The original, Avatar, had a sentimental appeal to us for reasons I’m not going into here. To this day, it represents the best 3D I’ve ever experienced (not that I’m an avid movie-goer or anything.) The effects were spectacular. There was a sense of wonder and awe. Now, our return to Pandora experience was not like that.

Let’s be honest: It’s been a long time. I honestly did not have a lot of expectations. In fact, I’d say my expectation-level was near-zero.

My family sat through the three-plus hours of Cameron’s return to Pandora after a 13-year absence. Let’s first go with my positive experiences. I’ll say this for the film: It’s a pretty movie. There’s beauty in it. It’s bright and colorful.

The movie was not woke.

Prior to the movie’s start, there were trailers, of which, I didn’t personally find any appealing particularly for the IMAX price tag with the exception of Oppenheimer. (Others include the latest Ant-man and Indiana Jones offerings. Now, the CGI on making Harrison Ford appear young was pretty excellent!) The latest MI showed stunt prep. That was probably my favorite part of this movie-going experience.

To recap my positives: IMAX experience, not woke, pretty, and part of the trailers.

Rather than go into negatives, which could bleed into spoilers, I’m going to approach this differently. I’m going to provide tips for you should you decide to return to Pandora or if you’d rather save your money and do other things.

If you go, keep your expectations as low as possible.

If you go, do not look at your phone or watch. You’re welcome.

If you go (and this is not a reflection on the film), take your own snacks. You’re welcome.

If you go, as Crash Davis said, “Don’t think, meat…” Yeah, don’t think. Don’t ask questions. Just watch.

Watch old anti-whaling videos on one of the “learning networks” or YouTube.

Learn about a different culture.

Visit a museum or garden.

Research dreadlocks.

Watch old Cameron movies such as Alien: Resurrection or Titanic or Avatar.

Learn “bruh” speak.

Donate money you’d spend for this movie to your favorite charity.

Go out to eat with someone.

Seriously, if you’re intent on watching it, just watch it on Disney+. Shelling out that kind of money for this particular movie will net you a lot of Disney+ subscription time. You might find other things on that channel that are potentially more entertaining.

I’ve only reviewed two movies, I think, on IMDB: Jurrasic World: Dominion and this one. Avoid both although this was slightly more enjoyable than the other. JWD was just awful.

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