Social Media vs Socialization

We seem to be living in an extremely divisive time, a time in which we are offended by everything. Do you ever see those posts of persuasion on social media? You know, the ones in which people try to convince others that they are wrong and the poster is right? The first topics that pop into my mind are religion and politics. I see Christians and non-Christians alike behaving similarly. Let’s not forget how tech is easy mode for those of us whom do not want to socialize. I know you’ve seen and done things like look at your phone when you meet someone on the street or store or have your earbuds in. Yep, me, too.

I wonder what the success data on those kinds of social media posts are anyway? While I don’t have the data on that, my guess is not very high.

I thought about this recently, about how ineffective these types of “persuasive posts” are. I also thought about Jesus and His way of socialization.

In the 33 years or so He lived on Earth, Jesus had a small group of people with whom He shared life. He traveled with them, broke bread with them, conversed with them, and taught them. These folks were just regular people. While it’s difficult for our brains to comprehend, Jesus was wholly human and wholly God. He loved Peter who betrayed him three times. Interestingly, later, Jesus asks Peter three times if he loved Him. Jesus even chastised Peter when he cut the ear of a soldier arresting Jesus. Jesus loved Judas as well even though Judas betrayed Jesus by turning Him into the Romans prior to Jesus’ crucifixion. He knew these things would happen, and that knowledge did not prevent Him from staying connected with His friends.

While we are limited in our application, not being God and all, we can still use some of the methods I believe Jesus used in building better relationships. I think through better relationships, we can approach people–not as right or wrong–but as different, and different is okay in my book. I mean, really think about this. Do you really want a world full people just like you? I know I do not! I think by approaching differences with curiosity and compassion all while looking for commonalities can help build a bridge across this divisiveness, into better connections and improved socialization.

• Curiosity. One of the highlights of my dad is interacting with my students from other countries. I want to learn about their culture, what is important to them. I want to hear their story of how they came to America. I want them to feel welcomed and at ease. I like to remind people that they’re in charge of what they share with me. At the same time, I let them know I tend to ask questions. I’ve expanded this practice into other areas. I express curiosity about people from different states or even just how someone’s day is going for them. This curiosity has helped me grow as a person, and I hope it helps those feel a little more cared about, too.
• Care. Along with curiosity, it’s important to show people you care. If you’re curious, that’s certainly a part of it. Think about people’s stories, their struggles, and how they overcame barriers. Empathize and show compassion. Along with this, it’s important to be genuine. Think about it. If someone offers you inauthentic platitudes, you’re probably going to pick up on it, and probably will react similarly to what is said after the word “but” (ignore the good and focus on the the rest). My intention is to show this whenever we’re out at retail stores or restaurants. I’ve been amazed at how such a little thing like showing interest can change the demeanor of individuals.
• Commonalities. As you’re curious and caring, see if you can find things in common. In this divisive time, we may spend more time latching onto those differences and hammering that wedge even further down into a greater divide. We end up flattening the fat part of the Bell Curve, creating bigger extremes on the left and the right. (Does this sound like American politics?)

So, if you or someone you love attempts to post something about how that person is right and the reader whom thinks differently is wrong, just don’t. Try something else. Be curious. Be caring. Look for commonalities.

Help put that bridge together to better relationships.

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