Why We Do What We Do

In this piece, we’re going to look at a few different reasons we tend to do what we do. This is not a be-all-end-all list. It’s meant to spark some ideas for yourself. First, we’ll look at the functions of behavior and then look at idols Biblically speaking. I’ll include hyperlinks, as always, and encourage you to view those. There will be less external links on the functions part because that has been part of my job for a while.

Obviously, there are many “reasons” we do what we do. For the sake of this writing, we’re going with the definition I learned in graduate school: Behavior is anything a person does. Now, as far as why we do those things, we’re focusing specifically on the functions of behavior. In this piece, we’re going with an acronym I learned on the job years ago: PASTE.

P is for pain reduction. Pain . . . hurts. If we’re hurting, we try to find ways not to hurt, which makes sense, I think. This can look like a child seeking solace when wounded or an adult with full-blown addiction problems.

A is for attention. I wonder if we see more versions of this now than ever before because of things such as social media. We’ve grown to like the “likes” or the views. We do things for a laugh or even for shock sometimes, too.

S is for sensory stimulation. These involve the senses. Sometimes, there’s something inside us that wires us to need, want, or do certain things. This could look like humming, bouncing one’s knees, cracking one’s knuckles, etc.

T is for tangibles. In other words, we literally and physically get something out of what we’re doing. This may be food or a particular item. There’s a physical reward of sorts.

E is for Escape. We do whatever we do in order to get out of something or avoid it. Or, maybe we keep putting it off and putting it off. A person in a crowded store seeks less-crowded isles. Or, a person feigns illness to get out of a social event.

These functions fit a lot of situations. Nothing is perfect.

Idols, on the other hand, are essentially anything we put before God. As Crowder sings, we know He is jealous for us. Besides that, we’renot supposed to idolize anything or anyone else anyway. For Christ-followers, we have a tendency to fall prey to the traps of idols. They often may look like different things for each of us.

Keller is credited with talking about core or root idols. According toKeller, there are four of these. We will use the mnemonic, C-CAP: Control, Comfort, Approval, or Power.

First, Control is about wanting things our way. We have a plan, and it drives us. When things don’t work out accordingly, we experience distress. Matt Baker suggests when we go for control, we may lose carefree living and gain loneliness. Those who seek control fear uncertainty and struggle with worry. They may impact those around them by inciting condemnation. I love Proverbs 16:9. It is a great reminder just Who is in charge.

On the other hand, when we seek comfort, we may lose productivity. Comfort-seekers may feel bored. Those around them may feelneglected or hurt. Comfort is all about self. If we’re full of ourselves, how do we have room for others let alone Jesus? God, though, is ourcomforter.

Next, approval is about relationships, acceptance, or attention. Although approval-seekers struggle most with fear, it is the fear ofrejection that is most problematic. Those around them may feelsmothered. If this person gets all the attention s/he seeks, that person is going to have less freedom. We need to remember Jesus is the truth, and He will set us free.

Finally, one main idol is seeking power. Uncle Ben famously told Peter Parker, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Power-seekers struggle with responsibility and fear being humiliated. Sometimes, power-seekers get so focused on increasing their power that the people around them feel used. Most often, these folks struggle with feeling angry. It’s important to remember that true strength doesn’t come from power; it comes from Jesus.

Change is hard. The cognitive triangle tells us thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. That is, if we change one area, we can improve the others. Although there’s literature out there disputing claims about how many days it takes to change a habit, the truth is for you, it takes how long it takes.

Self-awareness is a huge help. Become more aware of why you do what you do. Do some digging (i.e., search Google, talk to professionals, chat with friends/family, etc.). Ask yourself and others hard questions about you (you know, those questions we never want to hear the answers). Don’t give up. Seek God through prayer, read devotionals about struggle areas, read things (have you been to your library lately?), get involved at church, and establish more Christ-centered relationships. If you have it all together, consider helping someone else. Who knows—it may be your gift. While you may be doing something now that you (or others) do not like, that doesn’t mean you have to keep it up. Learn and lean into Jesus. The good news is He is aware of our struggles and is right here with us. He’ll never leave our sides, either.

#thoughts #behaviors #feelings #Bible #Jesus #CognitiveTriangle