Overcoming Negativity

I recently watched a TedTalk about how we get—and stay—stuck in the negatives. I had seen it previously, but it was worth a review. The premise is that we easily—too easily—hold onto negative memories, experiences, or interactions in comparison to positives. There are other studies stating it takes multiple positives to counter just ONE negative.

Expectations can certainly play a part as well. When we expect a certain thing and it gets blocked, it can lead to frustration and anger. Here are a few examples in which I either made the offense or was offended. (Honestly, I’ve been done both.) Have you ever had someone react in a way that was unexpected? Maybe someone held the door for you. Maybe a person showed you kindness by using good manners or by simply being friendly. Or, maybe you had a different experience. Maybe someone snapped at you without reason. Maybe a person cut you off in traffic, didn’t signal, or made a rude gesture?

Which one sticks with you?

If you’re like most of us, I’d probably guess the negative experiences. We let one often tiny, little thing get in the way of our good day.

So, what can we do to combat the negative and get ourselves unstuck?

Believe it or not, there is a growing amount of research listing gratitude as a way to battle anxiety and depression while also improving one’s level of happiness.

This can be tricky. When I’m struggling or down, it’s really hard for me to see positives. For us church folks, sometimes we say when we’re down, we need to look up. We can pray. If you’re struggling in a relationship, it’s amazing to watch prayer work. In Scripture, we have Matthew 6:33. Along with this, we can count our blessings. There are so many things that God gives us from air to breathe, breath in our lungs, natural beauty, love, friendships, and family. Most of all, God gave us Jesus.

What if you don’t believe in God? Then what?

Every day we awaken, we can be grateful for that. In reading this, you just took a breath. Look around you. Where I live, we have mountains and rivers; we have waterfalls. In Montana, we had all of that and a really ‘Big Sky’ with bright stars. We had tons of wildlife in our backyard. Those little things can bring such joy. Listen to kids laugh. Seriously, if you’re down, YouTube videos of babies laughing. It’s infectious!

Start with what you have. Sometimes, it may not feel like we have much. Maybe some of us do not have material things. We run out of ideas after identifying the big things. For some of us, it may be easier to think of the little things. We can write mental or physical thank-yous. We can send appreciation texts; we can simply phone or text a friend. Some people keep gratitude journals. I have a friend who is consistently posting things of gratitude on social media. (Seriously, my wife just posted a video about being grateful I purchased a smell-good detergent!) It’s not complicated; we just have to look for the good. I used to say, “If you look, you’ll see.” I still believe that. We often find what we’re looking for.

What are you looking for today?

When I walk, I often pray. I find that praying for others or helping others takes the focus off me. It puts me to work. It’s action. It’s something I can do. It takes me out of my head and puts me into the present moment. It focuses my attention on someone else. Serving is others-focused; worry is self-focused.

Everybody’s different. Have fun with finding creative ways to be grateful. The trick is to do it using whatever way works for you. For me, I’ve been maintaining a bullet journal for almost a year. I like it because it gives me a way to track things simply. In it, I list things for which I’m grateful. I can reflect back on keys dates or events.

What do you do when you’re stuck? What works for you? Have you tried gratitude? To throw a Dr. Phil line your way, how’s that working for ya?

 

#gratitude #Jesus #journal #mentalhealth #positivity #stuck