Look-see—How to Push Your Perspective and Shift Confirmation Bias

Not long ago, our family went camping to stargaze. If you know me at all, camping is not my thing. My wife and eldest enjoy it. One thing I’ve reminded myself over and over in 2020 is this: “It’s not about me.” When I personally operate that way, things go so much better. When I get selfish, or self-focused if you’d rather, I find more and more ways to be bitter, hurt, or even angry.

Now, I could have easily decided to complain. It’s true. I can go from zero to wide-open complaining quite easily. Instead, I opted to zip it and give it a go; my youngest did as well since camping isn’t his thing, either. (Hold this in mind because choosing not to complain could help you.)

I immersed myself in the experience and learned a few things in doing so. Let’s have a looksy, shall we?

1. I lowered my expectations. I kept open to the possibilities. I think this allowed me to be more present in the experience. Had I chosen (key word) to be upset or complain, I would have undoubtedly had a terrible experience. In all likelihood, my family would have, too. See, we tend to “find evidence” to support our beliefs (see more about confirmation bias). Before I knew what it was called, I always thought of it as this: “If you look, you will see.” Some of us had hoped to be alone on the bald face of the mountain. That was not the case. In fact, there were more people there than any of us had ever seen before. We could have let that ruin the evening; however, we made a choice. In choosing to be open about camping, it opened me up to a much better experience.
2. Be prepared. My eldest did a pretty good job overall of packing things. We had lighter and matches; we had blankets, sleeping bags, and pillows; we had tents; we had food. We had a telescope, too. The weather was cooperative; however, the wind was not. They managed to quickly put the tents up, and I worked on the fire. The wind blustered its way on the face, making fire-starting difficult. The teepee style didn’t work. Our lighter didn’t work, either. We were running short on matches. Remember all the people we didn’t wish to be there? One of them allowed us to borrow a lighter. We worked on it together. My wife created a house-style arrangement of the wood, and behold—we had fire! Had we got our wishes and were the only ones on the mountain that evening, we may have Proper expectations help; being prepared helps. Things have a way of working themselves out sometimes. We even had some good conversations with those other campers. Eventually, we managed to get warm thanks to the help from their lighter; however, we were not exactly comfortable. By the way, my version of being prepared includes an air mattress.
3. Enjoy nature. We were on the other side of a full moon, which compounded the difficulty of seeing many stars. The Milky Way appeared tucked away behind the Moon’s brightness. Still, Mars and the Moon were very close in appearance. It was incredible seeing Mars and the Moon rise together over the mountain. Saturn and Jupiter were there as well. My eldest, who shared in not wanting to be around others, ended up sharing his telescope and enriching their experiences just as they enriched ours by sharing their lighter. We shared stories and laughs. We even heard some three wood-knocks (but did not see one Sasquatch). While it was cold and windy, the fire was nice. Togetherness, though, was even better.
4. Have mini-adventures. Yes, COVID-19 has been unlike anything we’ve ever experienced—absolutely devastating and deadly. Many of us have to be careful because the truth of the matter is we do not know how it will affect us until we have it. That does not mean we have to stay inside all the time. Some of the best moments we’ve had include mini-adventures together. We’ve visited a nursery we enjoy. We visited the gardens at the University of Tennessee. We camped on a really chilly night albeit being ill-prepared but had a memorable experience. Our lives were touched by others, and hopefully, we touched their lives, too.

It is easy to focus on the negative, the disappointment, and the hurt. It is far easier especially in a pandemic. It may be easier to withdraw to yourself, avoid others and potential interactions. I wish I could promise you November will fix things; it won’t. Besides there’s a much bigger world than the United States. Still, we can be good neighbors and love one another as we do ourselves even if we disagree.

I’ve experienced confirmation bias at work in other areas. I bet you have, too. In America, we have an election. As it stands right now, it seems if people disagree with one another, there’s name-calling and finger-pointing but not a lot of conversation happening. I’ve experienced people finding information that support their beliefs. Guess what? I’ve done the same thing. You know what, though? I’ve also had conversations. I’ve paid attention to things sent to me to understand the other person’s perspective and reasons for their choices. (I may just write more on this later. We shall see.)

If you find yourself looking on the dark side or complaining, have a look and see if you can find a different perspective that is more positive. Shift your perspective, and “find evidence” supporting your new outlook. This is not necessarily comfortable. Growth never is. Push your perspective. If you disagree and find yourself angry, try having a conversation. If you look for a more positive way of doing things, you might just see it.

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